And I Will Wait, I Will Wait For You

And I came home; Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of dust; Which we’ve known
Will blow away with this new sun

And I’ll kneel down; Wait for now
And I’ll kneel down; Know my ground

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
― Mumford and Sons

When I arrived home tonight, you weren’t here. Although that’s not entirely unusual, this time it felt wrong and different. You see, since reuniting we’ve made an incredibly concerted effort to be there for one another…no matter what the perceived inconvenience or the cost of distance.

I hate that I was not with you when you left. When you flew away, I myself was on a plane. I was entering the skies of North Carolina shortly after you left that same airspace.

We joked that this was best. This is my first deployment; I make a poor military “wife”. It was good that I wasn’t there.

Over the next few months you will recollect with glee that our last physical encounter was carnal and raw and right. Instead of a sniveling, waving, tearful wreck, you can envision your tall hot blonde laughing and smiling at you with reckless abandon. My legs may also be wrapped around you in that imagery. I will not appear in your brain as anything other than what I am with you. Happy. Content.

So break my step; And relent
You forgave and I won’t forget
Know what we’ve seen; And him with less
Now in some way; Shake the excess

But I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

This does not mean that I will not miss you; that I do not miss you already. It does not mean that I didn’t cry on the plane, or tear up when I sat in bed this evening, or have heartsick at it all. It simply means that I will take this time to be the best wife-to-be that I am. I will run my first 1/2 marathon, and write here often, and launch my charitable committee, and plan my next tattoo, and push my limits, and go to all the events on our harried calendar. And I will tell you about all of it. Of everything. I will make you as proud of me, as I am of you everyday. You do great things, my great man.

So I’ll be bold; As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So take my flesh; And fix my eyes
That tethered mind free from the lies

But I’ll kneel down; Wait for now
I’ll kneel down; Know my ground

And upon your return, we shall do as planned. We shall be married. We shall be together. And you shall wrap your arms around me and grab my ass, and my heart will once again slow. Do great things, and come home quickly. I will be here…waiting. I wait for now.

Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow

Cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

3 responses to “And I Will Wait, I Will Wait For You”

  1. Holly shit this moved me. It makes me want to be better…be a better father….makes me want to want better… Need to find someone that feels this way about me.

    • Thank you for saying that, as it’s the crux of what makes this relationship unlike anything I’ve ever been in before. We make each other want to be better. It’s motivational and inspiring and absolutely, wonderfully raw.

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