Badass Stepmom: Parenting Recap 3

And here I am
Just waiting for this storm to pass me by
And that’s the sound of sunshine coming down
And that’s the sound of sunshine coming down
Yo, yo, here we go
I want to go where the summer never ends
With my guitar on the beach, there with all my friends
The sun so hot and the waves in motion
And everything smells like suntan lotion
~Michael Franti & Spearhead: The Sounds of Sunshine

As the month of July kicks off, so does our fourth week of summer parenting survival.  OK, let’s be fair…it may just be me that is feeling like I barely SURVIVED week 3. Jason seems to have this thing down, but it is all still new to this frozen-womb of a woman.

Jason played single-parent the second week while I gallivanted off to a conference in Chicago, and then he reciprocated the following with his own trip to Phoenix. So in all honesty, it’s probably more accurate to say that the CHILD is the one that survived the past two weeks. Somehow he made it to camp every morning clothed and fed, and was subsequently retrieved at the end of the day for sustenance, entertainment and sleep.

As I sit here and write, I am also watching the dear stepchild be schooled in swimming. He’s being tolerant, respectable, and accepting of his limitations. He’s also eager to learn and appreciative of his improvements. He is though, forgetting one key element and I’m grateful he’s forgetting on someone else’s watch.

Swim instructor Jolie: “Are you breathing?!?”

Logan: “No ma’am.”

He’s polite; she’s firm. Both with survive this endeavor.

As for me? What am I learning about 10-year-old boys of late?

  • 2001 A Space Odyssey and Kubrick in general may be wasted on the young. Things don’t blow up enough, there is too much creepy silence and the dialogue is too nuance-driven. I shall try again next year.
  • They will eat just about anything when they think there are no other options. Ignore them when they discover they actually like something and they’ll actually ask for it the next day.
  • Children will work for food. They like being involved and they’re willing to experiment if they are part of the process.
  • It’s perfectly OK to say no. They recover and forget very quickly; they still like you in the morning.
  • Do not socialize ideas, plans or concepts with a literal thinker. It’s a trap.
  • Engage, engage, engage. Talk, talk, talk. Laugh, laugh, laugh.
  • Homemade banana ice cream trumps fucking Dairy Queen every time.
  • I have truly forgotten more things than he knows. My brain is a sieve; his brain is a sponge.
  • Expectation management and repetition is the key to familial peace and harmony.
  • Sometimes a bottle of wine is the absolutely only way to get through another Disney show or a game of Clue.
  • The day they ask to go to a movie with just you…your heart may burst a little.
  • Neither of us can run as fast as his dad, and that pisses the both of us off equally.

So, I continue to learn, be entertained, get frustrated, bite my tongue, and squeeze him and his dad every chance they allow me. Badass stepmom rages on.

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