Don’t you think that it’s boring how people talk
Making smart with their words again, well I’m bored
Because I’m doing this for the thrill of it, killin’ it
Never not chasing a million things I want
And I am only as young as the minute is full of it
Getting pumped up from the little bright things I bought
But I know they’ll never own me
~Lorde: Tennis Court

Recently I fell prey, like so many, to the seemingly innocent “liking” of a friend’s Facebook list; ONLY to discover that it meant I too had to create a list. Not only a list, but one of a seemingly arbitrary length. One friend gave me the number 10. Another gave me 17. Seventeen of what you ask? No, wait…another gave me twenty! TWENTY THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME!

As a socially inept keeper of private things, I can guarantee that no one, even “strangers” are unaware of all twenty of these things. Perhaps though, I can surprise you with a half dozen or so. If you live in a cave; if you live in a cave and never read anything I ever write.

• I didn’t believe in soul mates until I met my husband. Before Jason I vehemently denied such fabulously complicated beings existed.

• My left wrist is tattooed with a Stephen King quote from The Gunslinger – “The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed.” The words face me and I read them at least once a day. If you catch me grasping my left wrist with my right, then I am a) nervous, b) angry, or c) about to say something that I will regret and I am hoping that if I cut the circulation off I will remain mute.

• I fall down a lot. Understand this – A  LOT.
  

• My life plan is to own a B&B in Cambria, California. I think between my logistics and my husband’s charm that we could be widely successful.

• I need a financial adviser as I suck with money. I crumple it, I spend it, I lose it, I don’t appropriately manage it; I make a lot and often wonder where it goes. I could also use a life assistant.
  

• I am deliriously happy in life and in my marriage. How do I know? I care what he thinks. I care what is said. I apologize for my actions. I become uncharacteristically compliant. Yet I am always myself…sometimes to our detriment.

• I collect horror anthologies from famous and obscure writers. Some of it is so jacked up it makes me a tad nauseous. Most of it is signed, lettered, boxed, expensive. 

• I love words. I admit to pulling books down from their shelves and petting them. They are art; they are beautiful.

• My 15 year-old corgi has my heart. She has protected me through many life moments and I am grateful.

• I am extremely spontaneous within parameters. I do have a safety switch.
  

• I am an unappreciative insomniac. It pains me and I will probably die early, yet it makes me three times as productive as you. Balance.

• I dislike Norfolk; I love living with my husband. Challenge accepted.

• I have made people cry during competitive games of Scrabble and Monopoly. I might be inappropriately competitive.

• I travel at least once a month and always forget something of relative importance – toothpaste, hair straightener, underwear.
  

• My tattoos count six…and counting…

• I am a kinesthetic learner. I have to touch thing and “act” things out before I truly understand them. This causes my trainer a great amount of entertainment.

• I have monocular vision. I am extremely farsighted in my right eye and nearsighted in my left eye. I do not wear corrective lenses…this might contribute to my falling down a lot.
  

• I knew in my teens that I was an everyday athlete; I relearned in my late thirties that I was an everyday badass athlete.

• I love to roll around in the warm sand and lay in the sun. The beach is the only time I really appreciate being still.
  

• I did not understand the power of women in my early years. If I have anything close to regret in my life it is that I did not foster those relationships earlier. Now? I love my girls and my gay men as if they are family. Speaking of family – I do not live near them, although I love them as if I am sitting at their dinner table every evening. God I miss you all.