The Badass Unicorn

October 18, 2015

Why my happiness may matter to you (part 2)

Familial lore says that I came into this life exactly like I’ve lived it. Fast. Impatient. Loud. My mom drove herself to the hospital. My dad met her there. Almost born in the car, almost born in the elevator; born exactly when and where I was ultimately supposed to be. “Selfish,” say some. “Spontaneous within […]

October 14, 2015

Coffeeshop, Honey Pot

The couple in the corner is in a hard discussion. “Girl, you need to get out,” she spews. “Don’t be a stereotype! Don’t push out another perfect child to complete his perfect little life.” And then with an air kiss and a wave, he is gone. She sinks deeper in her contemplation and orders more […]

September 30, 2015

Hot wife demands corgis

It’s a Sunday. My flight has been canceled and we’ve been drinking. Drinking and talking. These are things the Reeds do well. Exceptionally well. There we were: me sitting uncharacteristically still at the bar, he pacing the floor in front of me with arms waving and voice raising. This, I might add, is not uncharacteristic. […]

September 10, 2015

Wenches throwing wrenches

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m always throwing wrenches in our life.” “Never apologize,” says he. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever been with that has her own wrenches to throw.” Too many houses, too many cities. Norfolk, Nashville, Norfolk, New Orleans. All our cities start with ‘N’. Clank, clank bangs the wrench. Clank. Live alone […]

September 1, 2015

Why my happiness may matter to you (part 1)

There it is. It happens before you have a chance to think about it, to process it, to understand. You react without intention. But there it is. Sliding across your social feed is another smiling face, a giddy memory, a bright flash of someone else’s happy life. A quick snap, “Really, again?” A fleeting thought, “I hate her.” A bitter […]

August 28, 2015

Dog gone, dog gone

National Dog Day brought out the best in most everyone. Thousands of shared moments. Happy moments. Loyal moments. Salvation moments. Last year we celebrated with one dog, two dog, short dog, tall dog. Big dog, small dog, orange dog, brown dog. This year we have none. Dog gone, dog gone. Miss Iona left as she […]

August 26, 2015

Go On With Your Bad Self

I slept in this morning. I did not go to the gym. My lipstick is too bright and I like it. My dress is too short and that is good. My husband adores me. My hair is straight. Sometimes it is awesome to wear silver and gold together. I like today. I am thinking about […]

March 16, 2015

Wake Me Up

Feeling my way through the darkness Guided by a beating heart I can’t tell where the journey will end But I know where to start They tell me I’m too young to understand They say I’m caught up in a dream Life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes Well that’s […]

February 15, 2015

Octavia, you bitch

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, “Oh there you are! I’ve been looking for you.” ~ Anonymous What the fuck did you do to me? ~ Sarah Ok, so perhaps we’ve talked about a threesome. And this would be the perfect weekend, right? It’s Valentine’s Day! It’s the anniversary of […]

February 1, 2015

Let the Human Speak

Where’s Max? Where is Max? I want Max! Poor Jason came up to Nashville this weekend and discovers he is dog-less. The wife is in charge of the creature for a mere two weeks and has already managed to make him disappear. In my defense, I tried. I really, really tried. We both tried. In the two […]