I’m jumping the gun by posting this morning, as this trip is not technically over. But I figure I can’t possibly screw the travel god any more than she’s already deemed necessary, so here goes.

I ‘should’ have woken up this morning in my own bed, next to my hot husband, and my neurotic four-legged creatures. Instead I woke up in the Marriott Airport Hotel in Newark. Just to be clear, Newark was NOT EVEN ON MY ITINERARY this week. Regardless, here I now sit in the EWR United Club after 3 hours of sleep and several cups of mediocre coffee. The world better watch itself today.

This week’s travel brought me to San Francisco on Monday for a whirlwind packed schedule of meetings and presentations with customer service thought leaders and technology players. This is right in my wheelhouse. It’s trips like this that I actually look forward to and love. I only deplore the excessive amount of work that both piles up and gets acquired. #roadwarrior

Here’s a snapshot of the good: The weather in San Francisco was glorious. There was sun, there was warmth, there were green things on trees.  The staff at the Marriott in Union Square was awesome! The bellman named Simon remembered my name, addressed me as such every evening and also told me I was beautiful. I shall return. My room on the club floor had gorgeous views of the city. I walked past the club to get to my room, which meant I was never without water or fresh fruit; fabulous. We walked from one end of the city to the other. I ran. We ate at one of my favorite restaurants in the world – Le Colonial. My last pre-Zone meal essentially consisted of my weight in French Vietnamese fabulousness. My crazy plaid Modcloth dress was a hit! A woman on the street stopped me about it, and a stunning older well-dressed woman at dinner one night complimented me for “dressing like a woman that deserves it.” Even from afar, my husband makes me laugh uproariously. I decided to write a book. I started reading and obsessing over Wool. I met my new favorite CrossFit pants that won’t slip down during a WOD or squats. I was upgraded to first class from SFO-ORD which meant I could solidly work and simultaneously get fed well. The wonderful woman at the ORD United Club took excellent care of me after my flight was cancelled. Military hotel rates rock. With the help of a lovely friend, the CrossFit-Zone 60 day conquest has begun!

And…here’s what I could have done without: I’m still not home. I should not even be anywhere near Newark. I slept for 3 hours. I am essentially giving up wine for 60 days. I’m learning to measure my food. That should be a freaking riot on the road. It’s raining in Virginia…again…still. On the last night in San Francisco the man in the room next to me was violently vomiting for 30 minutes. I think he had found the honor bar in the club. My flight was delayed from SFO-ORD and I worried about missing my connection. My flight from ORD-ORF was cancelled, so that was a wasted emotion. I did procure the last seat on the ORD-EWR flight, but it was in the last row. My knees were mad. I was dressed like a hot wife last night with a short dress and straight hair. Instead of picking up that last night, my husband gets tired girl in yoga pants. At least they are tight pants.

There you have it. Next time around we’ll see what ORF-ATL-HOU-ATL-ORF has to do with me.