Michael is still not home, so I did something tonight that I never get to do. I am probably setting myself up for disaster as I am breaking one of the major codes of my weekly pattern. If the sun doesn’t rise tomorrow it is so my fault, because I was watching America’s Next Top Model in real-time. Yep, a guilty pleasure on a Wednesday night. Now what the heck will I do early Saturday morning when the woof gets me up at 5.30a?

After ANTM I flipped on TLC while I caught up on email. I had no real reason to turn on that channel to begin with, and now I am very annoyed that I did. My ANTM buzz is ruined. Why? “John and Kate, Plus Eight” was on. Was that woman a complete bitch BEFORE she had all those children? Does her husband actually like her? And does he know what a moron he looks like with those hair plugs? Seriously, that is way too many kids.

And then there were the commercials…ugh. While I don’t have any real issue with the little people Roloff family, I am confused by a few things. (I should point out that Elizabeth is petrified of midgets, and that makes me want to chase her with one. Chase her with a midget dressed like a clown.) Anyway, the commercial was about an upcoming episode where the Roloff’s are doing a remodel that will double the size of their house. Why? Why do little people need a big house? Who is going to clean this big house? They are the messiest people I have ever seen. Just watch for 5 minutes and you’ll see crap piled everywhere in their house. Now they will just have more room for more crap. Whatever.

Ok, maybe I was a little harsh. Now TLC is showing the documentary “Painted Babies at 17” about child beauty pageants. Freaking AWESOME. While I know it is totally the fault of the parents, you can’t help but want to smack the contestants. I am not sure what is worse…a 3-year-old dressed like Elvis in whore makeup, or a teenager wanting to look like a 3-year-old whore Elvis. The blonde idiot named Asia from Athens, GA is the poster child for tube-tieing. Please don’t let her reproduce. Or her sister named Treasure. Yes, Asia and Treasure…the white girls from Georgia.